Tuesday, January 31, 2006

not a very fun or exciting chinese new year.. other than cny eve.. these two days of cny is purely stay-home-and-rot kinda days.. and moreover, i'm feeling unwell.. that runny nose and sore throat, it totally spoils the mood...

been sleeping in late.. and watching tv.. taking my meals.. watching tv.. fallin' asleep on the sofa.. and all kinds.. seriously, i cant wait for school to start.. UNLESS, i've got somewhere to go to.. i really really want to go out and play.. i really want to stay out late and just slack.....

exams are coming... 24th feb.. super sians.. i just want to get over this sem, then i've got 7 weeks to play, slack, work, whatever..

one more day of holiday, and i'm gonna go back to school and make myself feel busy..

visiting on saturday, not really excited.. maybe because, i'm getting older.... mind you, not old.. but OLDER.. the ang baos dont mean that much any more.. it's just for good luck....

is it because of the quiet nights? because i'm starting to miss something again.....

Sunday, January 29, 2006

happy chinese new year! =)

Memoirs of the Geisha is nice.. Zhang Ziyi is nice.. but i think her eyes are nicer! i love her eyes lah.. it's so pretty.....! the movie is like, talking thru' out.. so i wouldnt recommend this to those who likes action movies.. but i really love it.

i'm darn tired now.. wanted to stay up to watch Full House again.. but really. i cant take it anymore.. i've only got like 10 hours of sleep in what.. 48 hours? i cant take it anymore lahs...

happy new year once again.. good nights! X)

Saturday, January 28, 2006

*BURP*

darn full.. and i ate like so little already.. maybe it's that red bean soup with tang yuan.. making me feel like i've put on another 3kg or something..

something i'm not really happy about.. every year my mum and grandma cooks the food reunion dinner.. and what i heard just now from an aunt that my mum cooked too much.. i know she meant well.. but come on.. if you're not the one cooking, please, dont comment too much.. i'm like so not happy lohs..

and thankfully.. mummy and grandma was so nice to keep some abalone for me..*SMILES* i know they're the BEST! hee..

but this year, i'm a good girl.. i gave my parents and granny all 50bucks each.. it's not alot.. but even though this time last year when i was working full-time, i didnt give them any money..

mmms.. i watched Fearless this afternoon.. it was.. nice.. the martial arts.. totally fab.. and the little girl is just so adorable!!! i wanna have a daughter next time...

gonna watch Memoirs of a Geisha later, finally. yep yeps.. cant wait.. gonna go take a bath and go out collect the tics already..

i still havent got that CNY mood yet.. maybe other than the ang baos i get...... hmm...

oh.. one more thing.. i did very well for my stats test.. a very good start to motivate me to study for my exams.. *SMILES*

and it's a very nice ang pao from mrs lang..

it's totally insane.. i havent slept for like what.. almost 20 hours? it's like.. i'm just gonna drop dead on my bed later.. when my hair dries..

i went for touch make-up this morn.. i took a cab down because i knew that i wouldnt make it on time if i were to take the train, as always.. the cab driver totally made my day.. she was being so nice, asking which way i'd prefer and everything.. super nice lady..

when i reached, i was like the first few lah.... and there wasnt like, the scorching sun.. but instead, it was super cooling.. not much perspiration..

cats prep was super duper funny.. we did a video.. and then there were some parts when i said something really funny..

and thank goodness we did our reflections.. because if we did not, we would have to go next fri just to submit.. and that means, the last lesson was actually today! i'm like darn happy.. but after much thinking... fridays would mean, come to school just for touch. boo...

went down to cine and met my colleagues.. we wanted to watch Fearless.. we happily bought the tickets, walked in, sat down comfortably.. then someone else came with tickets of the same seats.. and guess what.. after that guy went and clarified, we realised that the counter guy gave us tickets for SATURDAY'S show.. like.. excuse me? who in the right mind would go down to buy the tickets for the next day if i can watch it on the day...

but yeah.. we still changed it to tmrw afternoon.. because all of us have reunion dinner.. why not some other movie? because someone has to go off.. another boo.. but good.. because i came home at 11plus after bullshiting with reuben wenyao and shufen.. it's like.. bla bla bla non stop..

and oh oh.. i coloured my hair.. it's purple i think.. and it's really dark.. so i can only see the colour under the light.. but... i totally love it.. *BIG GRIN*

btw, on my way back at yishun mrt.. i saw this woman being handcuffed by the police.. wonder what wrong did she do.. and gosh.. cny is on sunday......

okays.. this entry is darn long.. and it's super random.. i'm damn tired.. i need to sleep.. because i have to wake up at 10 to watch Fearless.. in the afternoon.. so anti-climax.. cos after movie have to come home le... BOO.....


niteys!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

gosh.. i'm dead. ocom test later.. i havent really studied yet.. and... i've never attended ANY of the lectures since the beginning of the semester... shhhh....

something to think about: oral communications. written test?

stats test was okay today.. i was expecting myself to skip a few questions.. but at least i managed to attempt every question.. whether or not i do well, i dont know..

ocom test later at 5.15pm.. so dumb lahs.. boo.. imagine going to school just for a test? ugh..

but anyways.. after ocom test.. it's gonna be relaxed already.. cats presentation, not much to care about.. and dinner with colleagues, maybe, on friday night.. uh huhs..

then it's cny on sunday.. *big smileys* hahs.. imma collect red packets.. but i doubt i'll be doing much visiting anyways.. because seriously, i aint having that cny mood like i always do.. it's gonna be a boring cny this year..

Monday, January 23, 2006

the dark, it's the crappiest movie ever.. well, maybe not the crappiest, but it's very crappy. last tuesday's movie date with my colleagues was like crap. the both of them jumped at several parts of the movie, and i was laughing at them.. imagine me, if i were to watch a horror movie, i'd be the one jumping with people laughing at me.. but that day, i was the one laughing lah..

anyway, i've still got tons of work to complete.. econs' article analysis, tutorials.. two tests coming up on wed and thurs.. cats presentation.. i'm so hating this week.. so much to do, but so little time..

work last weekend was horrible.. disgusting people, totally busy the whole day.. but both nights ended quite well i suppose.. so yeps..

and oh oh.. facial therapists are sadistic.. the facial today was painful because i havent gone for a month already.. and it's so fcuking pain lohs.. but the outcome today was good.. very smooth.. i'm a happy girl.. BUT. my facial therapist asked me not to put on make-up so often because it clogs the pores, resulting in break outs.. *POUTS* now i'm gonna look like a ghost everyday..

having a headache now, but i've got to do my article analysis and show that witch tmrw.. lest, her sarcasm would just kill me..

Saturday, January 21, 2006

it's gonna be my full of emotions entry today.. so i'm gonna be rather serious now.. if you readers dont like me one bit, and curse and swear at me everytime i talk about a guy.. i'd advise you to stop reading from now on.. seriously, i dont care..

and to tell the truth. i'm feeling a little fucked up now. so bear all that vulgarities that might pop up later on.. and if you can't tolerate that either.. i'd really wish you not continue reading this.. it's gonna be kinda long anyway...

a little bit about me..

my old friends, or perhaps, friends who know me long.. all know i like a person easily.. maybe because of things he do.. maybe it's just, because i like that person.. but i believe.. some of them also know.. i'd always want to be with the person whom i "love" more than be with a person who "loves" me more.. i dont know if that is being stubborn or not.. but because, if i made up my mind that i want to know him better, i would stick to that decision made.. it would be difficult then, to make me change my mind.. because i believe in giving more than take..

but i also know.. the one who will hurt me most would be the one i made up my mind to want to "love".. and i know.. the one who will treat me best would be the one who loves me more than i love him.. i know.. because i've been through both situations..

i was talking to a colleague earlier on.. and she was telling me.. she would always seek for someone who loves her more than she loves him.. and i told her.. i'm the opposite.. sidetrack a little, sometimes i wonder why i'm born a girl... okay, back to the point.. she went on to tell me, the person you love more, will always hurt you.. and i said, yes, i know, because i've experienced that.. maybe it's not love.. but the trust that was broken.. and she continued, the best partner will be one who loves you more than you love him.. and i said, i know, because i stupidly let go of two guys who treated me well.. twice.

as i think back, i wonder what was i thinking back then.. but she told me.. never to look back.. but look forward.. i thought, yeah.. why look back.. then i said.. i'm not looking for a partner, now.. why.. because i'm waiting for an answer from him. maybe it's really that age gap that causes the difference in mindset.. he being able to treat me like how he treat everyone else.. but what about things that happened in late december.. please tell me that it was just a dream.. because after what i told him on new year, everything changed.. so much so, i cant accept that sudden change..

things were like on and off since then.. i feel like.. when he's happy, he'd come over and talk.. and when he's not, he'd just give me that cold look.. that look that i really hate.. because that cold look, makes me feel like nothing has happened before..

and everytime you mention about that other guy, i really wonder.. what's going on in your mind.. and you could still tell me, you never mention about him in front of others.. i know, i understand.. but when i tell you things, it means i trust you.. and i dont expect you to continue to remind me about things i dont want to remember.. and when you stuck out your little finger, promising me you'll never mention about that guy anymore, i wish i could just believe you.. but no, i cant.. maybe that trust in guys are never there anymore.. and i never liked anyone to promise me things.. because promises will always be broken..

each time i look at my other colleague.. her boyfriend treating her like a princess.. and so much more.. me and reuben always wonder.. why does she treat him like that.. maybe she cares in her own way.. maybe she doesn't want to show her concerns to other people.. but doesnt she realise, many people would die to have a boyfriend like him.. and yet she, does not understand him and always wanting to save her own face.. for goodness sake, waiting for him for 4 hours, and she goes on complaining.. it's his full-time job.. not like you, a part-timer.. understand what he has to go through, will you? instead of always cursing and swearing at him.. he is like, the best boyfriend he can be..

on a less serious note.. he said i've put on weight.. well, maybe it's true.. and i dont need any comments for that either.. he can tell me that the best solution would be to find a boyfriend.. because girls in relationships become more attractive, and guys become less attractive.. is that true? i never knew.. so.. anyone wants to be my boyfriend?


no no no.. i'm not serious bout that.. ignore that.. because i dont want a boyfriend just to look good.

anyway, i dont find that quite true.. know why? because my mummy became fatter after she was with my daddy.. haha. i dont know.. maybe lahs.. and anyway, my daddy never looked good in his younger days.. in fact, i think he looks more.... charming now? that's what i think lah..

so what is it that i've learnt today? never to trust guys that easily.. and to always look for a partner who loves me more than anything else..

and regarding work.... to hell with all you customers today.. giving me all kinds of fucking rubbish.. i so dont like kids now.. they look so adorable.. but they're the fucking hell most irritating shitheads ever.. or maybe, other people's kids.. because i know, my children would never be so irritating with a mum like me...

i'm so tired now.. i dont know if i want to work tomorrow.. bstats tutorial.. econs article analysis to be drafted.. both by tuesday.. cip pbl to be done by i dont know when.. bstats test on wed.. ocom test on thurs.. cats presentation on friday.. it's probably the most fucked up pre-cny..

i so want to run up to someone, hug that person tightly, and just cry... because it's so damn suffocating.. school, work... and you.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

bwah.. nothing much happened the past few days..

didnt work on saturday.. had family lunch, my granny's birthday.. i guess she was the happiest person on saturday.. why? because my mum bought her a bangle.. the ring that me and a few others shared.. the adults gave her red packets.. and the other two cousins gave her money as well.. hahas.

finally got to spend a saturday normally.. i mean, not at work.. went to watch In Her Shoes with my cousin.. nice nice.. Cameron Diaz is like.. woah.. i remember i first saw her in The Mask.. she was so hot then.. and still now.. then had steamboat in the night.. saturday was nice..

sunday was nice as well.. though work wasnt nice, at all.. but.. after work was great.. but maybe, it's just there and then only.. though i really felt pampered by you..

econs early in the morning later.. crappy.. it's like 1 now.. i know if i sleep, i wont be able to reach early.. but if i dont sleep, i wont be able to stay awake for the rest of the day.. and i'm meeting up with reuben and another colleague for movie.. yay! but then again, i dont think it's so much of a yay..

whatever.. i havent completed my stats tutorial.. i dont know how to do.. but considering i didnt listen to last week's lecture.. being able to complete about half is very good already..

i wonder what would come out of this..... maybe like what someone said.. i would be the lucky one if we were to be together.. but... you would be the one choosing.. and me, waiting to be chosen... why is it yet again another situation like that...

Friday, January 13, 2006

i saw derrick yesterday when i was leaving school together with may and liping.. hoho. he damn small size.. and he's botak.. that's all i wanna say. (:


anyways.. update about those fainting spells.. nothing much. did some tests in the hospital last week and apparently, there was one point when my blood pressure fell to very very low.. and i didnt feel anything? i dont know.. only advised to eat more salty food (eeew)..

and so today i found out that there are 5 more S&W lessons, including the attachment to a cca. *sigh* and i have to do make-up lessons in case i cant attend the last lesson of the semester.. and therefore, i'll be debarred.. which means i have to repeat S&W next sem.. which is a big NO-NO for me. (:

mmms.. not working tmrw.. i'm a happy girl now.. at least i get to sleep in late.. because it's family lunch for my beloved grandma's birthday next thurs.. me, my brothers and two cousins bought her a mother of pearl ring.. my elder cousin commented that we should have just bought coffee for her after he saw the ring.. LOL. seriously, i didnt think that buying my grandma something so expensive meant anything.. something small would do.. because it's the thought that counts.. and now we're all 65 bucks poorer..

oh oh.. and the most dumb thing today.. everyone knows it has been raining everyday for almost a week already right... it didnt rain today. and the part i'm not happy is... there is touch rugby today! why didnt it rain???? tell me why... *sob*

okay ah. finished whining already.. (:

Thursday, January 12, 2006

i've never really liked dec-jan period.. it's usually when the rain comes and never really stops.. but when it actually stops, it doesn't come for maybe a few days. and that is just so irritating.. i dont deny i prefer this kind of weather more.. but because of this weather, the clothes aren't dry and it makes me feel a little gloomy..

maybe it would be better if it rained a little like say, in the morning, and then the rest of the day would be cool, with a little bit of sun.. that's nice.. i like.

these few days havent been very nice for me.. might be because i havent been sleeping enough.. might be because i havent got enough time for my school work.. i dont know.. and it's usually when i'm on my own, i feel so gloomy.. even one photographer at work commented on how "black" my face is..

suddenly, i'm missing so many things.. i should reflect on myself.. one day, when i have the whole day.. to just myself... to find out, what actually went wrong.......

bleh.


okays.. i really should be going to sleep.. good nights.....

i was dozing off everywhere i went today. this morning on the way down to the hospital.. while i was doing my treatment.. on my way home from orchard.. (tutorial was cancelled) fell asleep at while reading thru my notes.. on the train going to school.. on the bus going to suntec.. and you know what? that's literally the travelling time.. usually, i wouldn't sleep that much while travelling to and fro.. but today, i'm just too tired.

by the way, the test was crap. i finished it in about 20 minutes.. know why? because i dont know how to do.. but actually, even if i did, i'll take like only 30 minutes? conclusion, i didnt complete the test.

i didnt meet reuben either.. i was just feeling so tired the whole day, and there's still tutorials that needs to be completed.. look at me. more than 3 hours back home but have yet to do them yet. i don't think i'm gonna do it anyway.. there's 3 hours break tmrw cos of stupid make-up lessons.. sometimes, i really hate public holidays..

there's like alot of things coming up.. i feel like i've got no time for anything for the following weeks.. my schedule seems so packed.. but actually, i've got nothing much on.. maybe the dinner with reuben.. some chinese new year shopping.. and a dinner with my darlings... but this time, i wont organise it..

and oh, by the way.. don't be mistaken about reuben.. he's a 16 year old kid.. and if you guys know me well enough, i don't go for younger boys.. he's just a friend, my ex-colleague..

anyhow, i'm going to bathe and sleep already. i'm TIRED. and it's gonna be another long day tmrw.. good nights (:

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

*sulk*

*frown*

*pout*

whatever.. it just cant describe how i'm feeling now.. i'm feeling damn damn tired.. i want to sleep. but there's still cip.. i hate the freaking module like nobody's business.. why do i have to learn how to do a flash.. i cant see any relation to my course.. can you?

work today is crap. i've got no energy to work for my commission..

i'm just tired, geddit?

i've gotta wake up at 6.30am later on.. doctor's appt at 8.35am.. fcuking shyt. den i've got my facial appt.. then ocom tutorial at 1 - 3pm.. and i havent do my tutorial yet.. cip test is at 5 - 6pm. then i'm gonna go bugis meet reuben for dinner.. and do some cosmetics shopping.. it's gonna be a freaking long day tmrw. *pouts*

i'm just grouchy..

i've finished whining.. maybe a nicer post will be up tonight... MAYBE.

Monday, January 09, 2006

haven't been hardworking.. no updates for 3, 4 days.. i think.

anyway, work has been good. love it. it's a short month, but the check this month is the fattest ever since i started. i'm starting to count down to the 25th when the pay check comes.. but of course, in the meantime i'm gonna make it even fatter! *GRINS*

my hair sucks. did i mention it in the previous post? i dont know. anyway, my fringe is so short, i think i feel like slapping the hairdresser. argh!

school term starts tomorrow. SIAN! haiya. bo bian, i'm still 17. i cant believe i'm coming to 18 this year. totally cant believe it's so fast lohs. it's like. a year since i left sec school. *sigh*

it's just a random post. to let all of you know i'm still alive.. (bullocks)

alrights. nothing much to talk about either. maybe, not here...

good nights. (:

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

watched A Chinese Tall Story earlier on with several other colleagues.. i've been wanting to watch it maybe because it was Nicholas Tse and Charlene Choi.. i knew it was a crazy movie, but i only realised it was kinda crappy halfway through.. i mean, the movie is like, funny yes, but the story just jumps about, even i myself was a bit blur halfway..

it's a nice movie if i want to just laugh, but on the whole, it's not good enough..

3 days into 2006.. and it's still kinda crappy.. what about the remaining 362 days...?

econs test is on thurs, which is tomorrow.. 4 units, 6 weeks of lectures.. of which i only attended 5.. and of the 5, i dont even know if i understood all the lectures.. i have yet to start revising, or should i say, studying.. so maybe if you see me, please, just kill me.. really..

as i was thinking a little these few days.. i think i've been working a little too much.. and it's time i should give myself a break.. no doubt, i find the job a little addictive, but my focus should be on my studies.. i find it irritating when people ask me to study, concentrate on my school work, bla bla bla... but if no one nags at me, i think i'll just quietly do it on my own.. because by nature, i'm a rebel.. =S the more someone wants me to do something, the more i'd question and do the opposite..

as for those problems that i have on hand, i dont know what i should do.. i'm afraid i'd regret what i say.. why? because i've already regretted saying something on nye, on new year's day.. something which has drastically changed the relationship that i share with someone.. it's all so different now, i think i'd rather die..

as for work, i dont know if i still want to continue there.. because the closest friend i have there has left.. and i feel more lonely than ever at work...

i'm tired. i've got two tests to do later on at the hospital.. good night....

Monday, January 02, 2006

happy new year to one and all.. to those whom i did not sms, sorry. it's either i lost your contact number, or i just dont want to sms you.. pick one from both..

that was darn mean....

anyway, i was working on BOTH nye and on the first day of the new year.. stupid, i know. but anyhow, my countdown to 2006 was spent counting sheeps in my dream.. yeap. i slept way before 12am.. okay, maybe at about 11.. i'm just tired k. i woke up to many sms-es and two missed calls.. hah. i actually heard one, but i was just too tired to pick up the call..

i was telling my colleague on nye that it doesnt seem as though it's the last day of the year.. ever since i've started working there, during my two weeks break, i've totally lost track of time.. i dont know what day is what, and when is it or whatever it is.. even until now, i still have to think whether it's monday or tuesday already..

there is work later on, and off tmrw.. i dont know if i should go to work and rest tmrw.. or rest on BOTH days..

okay, so i actually just reached home, not too long ago.. watched Family Stone with several other colleagues.. reuben leaving! last day!! anyway, yah.. the movie is quite nice.. funny, with touching scenes.. but i had to hold back my tears.. because i'm not wearing waterproof mascara! lol.

yup.. the new year started off horribly.. not too nice.. work was great. but my own personal life, it kinda sucks sh*t.

just looking back at my Jan 2005 entries and i see no resolutions.. so here's my resolutions for 2006..

- lesser vulgarities.. it's all thanks to my colleagues at work.. what's with all that F..
- lesser cab trips, i.e., wake up earlier!
- save more money! eat more at home. get the idea?
- shed 3 kilos

i think that's all for now.. i need to bathe, and sleep. niteys..